Spareparts Theo Dildo Harness

I’ve been playing with strap-on harnesses long enough to know that they can be really uncomfortable and not just for me. If it doesn’t fit well, the experience, ultimately, isn’t good for receiver either. I’m always on the hunt for, not just a comfortable strap-on harness, but a harness that I can quickly get on and off myself. I had heard a lot of positive comments about the Spareparts Hardware’s harnesses so I decided to contact them for a review sample. Luckily, they were more than happy to send me one.

Thong Please

Because I have issues with the 2 strapper, (See my article on shopping for a strap-on harness) they sent me the thong style and guess what? They had it in pink! Yay! It looked real pretty on the web and when I took it out of the box; I was even more excited to try it out. It’s made of a pink satiny, spandexy, nylon fabric with black elastic around the waist. Even the snaps to adjust the fit are a pretty white pearl. I have my issues in that I want to make sure when I wear a harness I still look girly and sexy. As soon as I got the Theo properly adjusted, I felt good. Speaking of…

Adjusting took a bit of time and help

Getting the Theo to fit really well took hubby and I a little bit of time. It comes with instructions on how to clean and care, but not how to get it adjusted to fit properly. It took a little time and experimenting to get it right.

The part that confused us the most was the ring of fabric with snaps that looked just like the crotch strap around the waistband. We didn’t really know what it was for or what to do with it. A little searching online and I found a couple of videos and learned that the extra fabric is to make the crotch bigger if one needs to. So you can make even further adjustments. It’s just a shame that there was no literature explaining that.

This is what how we made my Spareparts Theo fit:

First we adjusted the fit of the crotch part of the harness which is easily done with the snaps between the legs. This part is partly responsible for making sure the dildo sits at the right spot on your pubic bone. If it’s too high or too low, you won’t be able to thrust properly.

Then we adjusted the large Velcro straps on the waist band which are for getting the waist fitting properly. Once that feels good, the little tension buckles on each side help you give it that final pull for a great fit that makes the harness feel like it’s a part of you.

Once you get the Theo fitting comfortably, you don’t have to take it all apart, you can leave it set. All you have to do is loosen the small tension buckles. Then in the heat of the moment, you just have to step into it like a pair of panties and give those tension buckles a quick pull and you’re all set to go.

I did it all by myself!

That’s what I loved about the Theo. Hubby was in bed with our lady friend, she was going down on him and her sexy bootie was sticking up in the air just waiting for me to bang her from behind. I got off the bed, grabbed the Theo and was able to step into it and pull the tension buckles tight and got that perfectly comfortable fit all by myself. I didn’t any additional help like some other harnesses require. All the sexual play was able to continue while I readied myself and I was able to easily become part of the action again and bang our lady friend from behind.

OMG comfortable!

I don’t think there are enough words to express how comfortable this harness is. The satiny spandex is comfortable against the skin and even the elasticky waist band feels very cozy against the skin too. I don’t know what’s inside, but it feels like there’s memory foam between the layers of fabric making the strap between your legs uber comfortable and there’s even snaps on that part of the fabric. Also the triangle part in the back under the waist band also feels padded. I got the harness to fit like a freaking glove and it felt like I was wearing nothing at all.

“Makes an ordinary strap-on dildo feel like a natural extension of your body”

This is what SpareParts touts in the description of the harness; it’s absolutely true for me. The harness was so comfortable and fit so well, that yes, the dildo felt like it was a part of me and I actually believe I had better control to thrust than with any other harness I’ve used.

No soreness or pinching or irritation

The Theo left no marks, scares, irritation or soreness and I did a lot of thrusting! When I was finished using it, I was able to easily get out of it and jump right back into play.

O’ring

The o’ring is elastic allowing you to accommodate dildos from 1 ¼” thick to 2” thick. I have several dildos that fit perfectly so I didn’t have to buy any extra toys. The fabric appears to be sewn well around the o’ring, but if it does start to come loose, it looks you can easily sew it with your hands.

Some help needed here

I like to use silicone dildos with my harnesses because they are non-porous and can be easily cleaned and disinfected between lady friends. Silicone is not the slipperiest of materials when not lubricated, so I had to ask hubby to stretch the o’ring so I can easily get the dildo through. Once he did that, it was a piece of cake. But that is where I think the fabric around the o’ring will eventually come loose, pulling dildos in and out of that hole to clean. I’ve not had enough uses with it yet for that to happen, so I’ll have to update you on that later.

It’s versatile

I love it when I can use that phrase in a review. I love toys that are versatile. The Theo has two small pouches in front, one just below the o’ring and one just above the o’ring to put small battery operated bullet vibes if you so desire. So if you want more direct clitoral stimulation, use the lower pouch and for more indirect stimulation, use the upper pouch. The first night I used it, I didn’t use any bullet vibes and I still had a very exciting experience.

Condom Pouch

There’s also another, larger pouch in the back that you can keep a condom in which is handy for those of you that want to use a dildo that is porous or need to have a condom handy during sex. Safe sex is always important, so the folks at Spare Parts give you options.

Totally washable

Unlike any other strap-on harness I’ve used, the Theo can be totally cleaned either by hand in the sink or in the washing machine. I love that! I have used various harnesses that are a pain in the ass to clean because certain parts couldn’t be run under water or you had to really just spot clean it. I’m so happy that I can just through this in the gentle cycle in the washing machine and either tumble or hang dry. Awesome!

I’ve put it through the wash a few times now and the harness seems to be holding up well. I haven’t put it in the dryer though, I’ve only hung it to dry overnight and it’s so far it looks good, it still wears well and everything functions fine.

Overall Thoughts

I’ve used many strap-on harnesses throughout my lifetime and the Theo harness is not only the prettiest and most fashionable looking harness, but the most comfortable harness as well. While the initial adjusting took a bit of time and help, it was totally worth it because I have a strap-on harness that I can use with a variety of dildos that fits so well and so comfortably that makes the dildo feel like it’s a part of me. All this ultimately gives me more control, more confidence and an overall better banging experience. Since I don’t have a penis, I’m immediately at a disadvantage because I can’t feel what I’m doing with my fake cock. Having a well fitting and comfortable fitting harness makes all the difference. Not only is it more pleasurable for me; the experience is more pleasurable for our lady friends as well.

For me, having a feminine look when strapping a dildo on is important and the Theo harness is fashionable and pretty, making me feel sexy and confident, also giving me a better strap-on experience.

It’s easy to care for by just throwing it in the washing machine with my other delicates and hanging it to dry. Easy to care for, easy to get on and easy to use, I’m totally in love with my Spareparts Harness.

Where It's Available:

• Order Spareparts Theo Dildo Harness from Spareparts Hardware