(From the back cover) Geisha-style romantic and erotic techniques for finding, marrying and keeping a Good Man. Learn how to attract and enchant men by getting in touch with your Geisha power. Go from single and alone to married and adored in 12-18 months!
I was rather intrigued by this book because there was a bit of controversy when it came out. Apparently some thought it wasn’t very feminist friendly, so I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Once the book arrived and I saw the “Go from single and alone to married and adored in 12-18 months” highlighted on the back, my bull shit alarm went off. I hate it when books make huge promises in a scheduled amount of time…BUT…I didn’t want to judge too quickly.
Py Kim Conant has a very unique perspective on men and she pulls no punches in sharing what she has learned in her lifetime about finding the right man (a Good Man). She shares the history of the Asian Geisha’s success in attracting and keeping men and applies those traditions and techniques to the modern woman. The ideas and thoughts she shares are not the most politically correct, but she’s honest in her message to the reader. She’s blatantly honest about her past, her appearance and weight issues and the men that she dated and tried to date. She takes on an Older Sister, I will guide you through this journey attitude, that’s supposed to make the reader feel more at ease with some of the suggestions she’s going to read.
Py Kim has some solid advice for her readers. I appreciate her utmost honesty about her past and her frankness in the way she delivers her message. I believe that her true intent is help women. I also don’t agree with the feminists argument. I don’t feel like she’s telling women to be submissive in the presence of their man or possible man. Py Kim constantly reiterates that you should not submit or sacrifice yourself for your man and explains that Geisha’s are not submissive. So I’m with her on that and even with the things she gives the reader to think about, to change in themselves, their appearance and in the way they deal with men. Her basic attitude seems to be more of a “do unto others…” kind of thing, which I can’t disagree with, however, she’s wrapping it up in this ‘American Geisha’ frame.
Sexuality and femininity is her key. She explains that women need to understand how their sexual body works and what it enjoys and learning this through masturbation is important. She explains the different parts of the vagina and encourages women to masturbate through her quick guidance. I have some grievances here, but I’ll explain them later. I really appreciated her 3rd suggestion for turning a man down when he wants to have sex. You’re not just blowing him off…no pun intended. I think her 4 Core Values of a good man are realistic and reasonable, but I do think this chapter fell a little late in the book. She did give you the option to jump ahead to the chapter in the beginning, but if you need to mention the possible jumping ahead, maybe the chapter should just be where the suggested jump is. I think knowing and thinking about the kind of man you’re searching for is important up front. It may make some of the honesty a little better to soak in.
She does apply her advice to keeping a relationship throughout the book as well. Her message of keeping a sexual bond is strong and it is important in a relationship. She also makes a quick mention to focus on your ‘marriage’ not the wedding day. Sound advice, too many couples get stressed over the wedding and by the time it’s over, their marriage is already in trouble.
Other reviewers have mentioned the issue of losing weight is brought up a lot, especially in the losing weight chapter. Again, I appreciate her honesty about what she thinks men want. It’s true that if you’re overweight and you’ve just given up on yourself, the chances of men finding you attractive are slim and close to none. It’s true, it’s honest, I appreciate that. She does encourage readers to see their doctor about weight loss, which I respect and doesn’t recommend fad diets and stresses exercise. So there’s some good tidbits there. She has some suggestions on ways to stay motivated…something that may work. She stresses the eat less, work out more theory which is generally the right thing to do. She wants women to take a hard, real look at themselves. The fact is, if overweight women lose weight, they’ll become healthier and may even find themselves in a good relationship…so it can be a win-win. It’s just not a chapter or message that’s sugar coated.
Changing your schedule is also recommended…instead of sitting in your living room eating and watching tv, she recommends getting involved in singles groups, going out, seeing friends. She wants you to prioritize your life and make the things that could help you get a man important and at the forefront. In a way I agree, if you want to reach a goal, you’ve got to the make the steps to that goal important.
Her chapter on masturbation had some scary suggestions of lubricant in it. One ingredient she mentions is petroleum jelly. Wait a minute…petroleum jelly????!!! I almost freaked out. Petroleum jelly should NEVER be put in the vagina or even go near the vagina for accidentally slipping in. Petroleum jelly is like glue, it doesn’t get absorbed and it doesn’t flush out of the vagina, so a woman could get a bad yeast infection from using it. She also recommends baby-oil which a woman should stay away from because it could have perfumes or other additives that can be irritating. That was in an early chapter in the book, so after that, I was having trouble with her “knowledge.”
The female ejaculation chapter is not really any clearer than anything else I’ve read on the topic but it also seems to be a bit advanced. Let’s help women find their ‘Good Man’ before we figure out how to ejaculate.
She incorporates useless polls to prove a point. She doesn’t tell you how many people she sampled, where they were located, their ages, their marital status…nothing. To me, that information is pointless. She also says on various occasions “psychologists say that…” without saying what psychologist or what study was done to prove this. She takes this knowledgeable, authoritative stance but doesn’t deliver. Her only authority that I as a reader know of is her life experience.
The last thing that really got to me was that she tried some things, improved herself and found a Good Man, but she wrapped up the information in this ‘Geisha’ frame that just doesn’t hold water to me. I think I would have enjoyed this book much more if she would have just talked about what she did from her experiences. This framework gets annoying and the “Older Sister” facade gets tiring.
This book was one of the more difficult to review. My job is to share my experience and decide if I should suggest this book to you. I’m a little torn, yet leaning toward not. I have not read other books like this about getting a man, so I can not say if it’s better or worse than anything else out there. She does tell it like it is and makes some good suggestions, but overall I think the tone of this book and her thoughts are all over the place. Her techniques, while suggesting that they come from a place of love and sincerity, feel kind of manipulative. Some of her advice is extreme and over the top and some of it’s not enough. It’s like she tried to squeeze too much into this book. She acts like an authority on the subject, but doesn’t really have the credentials or the advice to show that she does. I guess the bottom line is, would I recommend this to a friend in need of advice? I don’t think so because if I did, I’d have to recommend it but then explain that they shouldn’t take it all literally and that some of the advice is sound but other stuff is a little wacky. I did a search online and haven’t found anyone that used this book or this advice and shared their successful bagging of a Good Man. I’d love to know if there’s anyone out there that has followed this like a guidebook and if it really worked for you.
Author: Py Kim Conant
Publisher: Hunter House, Inc.
# of Pages: 207
Erotic or Self-Help: Self-Help
Easy or Difficult Read: Easy