Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

is available to buy here
90out of 100Very Good

What’s the hype?

“What really makes it work is the way the authors keep going back to their primary goal: to demystify SM behavior and give a relative novice both the permission to do what they’re dreaming about and the technical know-how to do it with safety and a sense of erotic adventure…the technical advice is superb…Information about and instruction in flogging is perfect, leaving nothing out. Their illustrated section on bondage is unequaled.” The SandMutopian Guardian

Does it live up to the hype?

Absolutely! In fact, this book goes above and beyond what the hype says. It should be fully read and owned by anyone looking to become involved in any type of bondage play. It should be kept handy on the shelves to be referred to for reference. An excellently informative and arousing manual for bondage play.

Initial thoughts:

It’s a tabloid size book (8 1/2″ x 11″) and when I thumbed through it real quick, I was almost dredding the process. There were lots of pictures and I figured it would be a quick read, I still feared that it would be boring. The fact that it came so highly recommended by my Kinky Friends forced me to open it and get started. Boy was I ever wrong!

What I liked most about this book

  1. The attitude of the authors. Even though this book looked like and felt like a boring text book, it was not that way at all. It was extremely easy to read with little recollections of past experiences and stories in between all the important information.
  2. Philip Miller and Molly Devon are very straight forward with what they tell you. They don’t act like know-it-alls. They admit what they are into and what they are not and what they don’t know about. For example, in the section that takes about Electricity Play, they admit that’s not their bag baby and get as much information for you as they can, but admit that it’s not knowledge from experience. I can appreciate that.
  3. Most books I’ve read in the past about bedroom bondage or S/M play have talked about it from a couples point of view. Not Philip and Molly, they give the single folks that are interested detailed information on how and where to meet someone to play with and most importantly, how to do all this safely.
  4. Philip and Molly have a wonderful chart with illustrations and descriptions about the type of bondage people you want to avoid. There’s always those that pretend to be experienced and really are not, and that could be a dangerous situation. So now, you’ll know what types to look out for. They also include a detailed questionairre that you and your partner can use to help you discuss wants, needs, expectations and limits. Something that’s very important especially if you’re playing with someone you don’t know.
  5. I love the straightforward, extreme examples that Philip uses to prove a point. For example, Philip is talking about how important “negotiating” or communicating wants and needs are before playing. So he says, “Explaining one’s feelings completely is important. What one person views as a “light” scene may have his lover pressing assault charges. For example, does a ‘group scene’ mean getting a public spanking or does it include sex with the entire defensive lineup of the Cleveland Browns? Be clear and thorough.” It may sound a little harsh here, but it does get the point across and is rather amusing at the same time.

Great Quotes

“SMers are cast in a bad light based on the mistakes of the ignorant.”

I couldn’t agree with that statement more. Since reading isn’t this country is at an all time low, people don’t realize how serious S/M is. And then when they do indulge and get hurt, mentally or physically, S/M, as a whole, gets a bad rap. This book should be required reading for everyone!

“Trust, Understanding & Acceptance are the three most important goodies in the quest for a more satisfying sex life.”

Once again, great statement and not just for S/M play. This quote alone shows that even couples that don’t partake in S/M play can gain a greater understanding of the importance of communication in order to have a better sex life.

sample page

Most Rockin Bit

Chapter 12 discusses the “Mind Fuck” aspect of S/M play, which is extremely important in order to understand why so many people love the experience of bedroom bondage. This chapter really drives home the fact that it’s not just about whips and chains and beatings, but it’s about the deep connection that can be made with your lover. This is important, even for couples that aren’t involved in S/M play, showing them that sex is so much more than just physical.

Overall Thoughts:

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, kicks some serious tail. (no pun intended) This has to be the most comprehensive, the most enjoyable, most amusing and yes, most arousing book I’ve ever read on the subject. It’s great for couples, singles and even just the curious. There’s so many pictures, illustrations and diagrams that assist in the enjoyment and absorption of all the material without scaring you away from it or confusing the hell of out you. A full glossary of terms and reference section in the back tells you where you can obtain tools and more information. Whether you’re a novice or a pro. you can learn something from this book. It’s definitely a keeper for me because I know I will be referring back to it for years to come. It has also gotten those naughty thoughts of bedroom bondage back into my head. Boy is my boyfriend in trouble now!

Vital Stats

Author: Philip Miller and Molly Devon
Publisher: Mystic Rose Books
Format: Softbound
# of pages: 277 Erotic or Self-Help: Self-Help
Easy or Difficult Read: Easy


Where It's Available:

  • Order Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism from Powell
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My name is Ann Andriani. Since 1999, I've helped millions of folks sort through their questions and curiosities about all things sex. There are tons of adult products out there and my goal is to help you find the gems and skip the losers.

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