This Ain’t Saved by the Bell XXX

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Not all porn parodies are created equal.

I’ve been enjoying the latest slew of porn parodies released by Hustler. For the most part, they’ve been fun and sexy through and through. I used to watch Saved by the Bell when I was younger and thought this would be a hoot too. We had a lady friend over a few weeks ago that also watched Saved by the Bell when she was younger, so we thought it would be fun to view and get naughty with together.

The theme song is quite clever.

You hear it as soon as the menu screen comes up. It sounds like the Saved by the Bell theme song, but the words have been changed. It was clever and funny all at the same time setting expectations high and honestly, but mostly unfortunately, it was the best part of the DVD.

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Most actors and actresses look the part

All the actors and actresses really resemble the original cast, the costumes look as though they’ve been taken directly from the show, except for the actor that played Zack. He looked a bit older than everyone else and wasn’t pulling off that high school age look real well.

Storyline similar to an episode

In looking back, Saved by the Bell was quite a campy show, a bit cheesy at times and the writers of Saved by the Bell XXX stayed the course with their script. Zack is pinning over Kelly, Slater is causing trouble with the ladies. And Screech is the typical geeky nerd that the group seems to put up with and that’s stuck in the infamous “friend zone.”

Usually one star shines

There’s usually at least one sex scene and one star that makes the movie worth watching, but as a group, my husband, our lady friend and I were unable to pick that one out. All the females had a similar sex style, even their annoying sounds and breathing were the same in the sex scenes which became irritating after a while. It’s that sound when a woman clenches her teeth together and breathes in and out through her teeth. They ALL did it. This became annoying to all three of us as the movie continued and we wound up fast forwarding through much of the scenes.

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Where are his sideburns?

I’m really bothered when a man doesn’t have any sideburns. Mike Butder, the actor that played Slater, had no sideburns. Doing some quick research online showed that while Mario Lopez didn’t have huge sideburns, he did have them in the original series. Maybe the lack of sideburns was purposely done for comedy; however, it really bothered me because he looked creepy.

6 sex scenes

That’s really all I can say for them. They were sex scenes, they were pretty average. And all of them were equally annoying because the breathing by these ladies was terrible and sounded so fake since they were all doing it. If you’d read any of my reviews, I like to see people having sex in movies that look like they’re having a good time. Some of these actresses looked like they were working and not really connecting with the guy.

I thought maybe the hot school girl lesbian scene with Missy Stone & April O’Neiil would be hot, two hot chicks having sex in a classroom, why wouldn’t that be hot. Well, they both made those annoying breathing sounds too and we wound up fast forwarding.

We fast forwarded through most of the sex scenes; they just weren’t enjoyable which is sad because the ideas for them could be very hot. I just feel like this movie was put together with the “B” Team of stars. They looked the part, their acting out of the sex scenes was decent, but in the sex scenes, I wasn’t excited and neither was my lady friend or my husband.

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Extras aren’t anything to write home about

There were some bloopers in the extras that are sometimes fun, however, these bloopers just showed stars that can’t repeat a line a properly, never mind remember it. If I were Misty Stone, I’d be horrified because the bloopers showed take after take of her screwing up her lines. After a couple of times, it wasn’t funny, it was sad. It felt like a reel of reasons to NOT hire her for your movie. So even the extras were pretty sucky.

This Ain’t Saved by the Bell XXX just didn’t cut it

Even while creating a sexy environment with our lady friend, This Ain’t Saved by the Bell XXX did not continue to inspire a sexy atmosphere during our naughty party. We all were familiar with the original series and watched it to some extent and thought this could be a fun and hot movie to watch. Unfortunately we wound up making fun of it the whole time and creating our own hot environment for sex. Bottom line: While some of these porn parodies can be fun to watch with or without the sex scenes, it is ultimately a porno, created to excite and arouse, this porn DID NOT do that for us. As a result, I deem this DVD a total pass.

Vital Stats:

Studio: Hustler
Director: Axel Braun
Starring: Misty Stone, Missy Stone, Nicole Ray, Gracie Glam, Ally Ann, Ashlyn Rae, April O’Neil, Tony DeSergio, Kris Slater, Mike Butders, Ralph Long, Eric John
Running Time: Approx. 2 hours
Extras: Slide Show, Trailers, Behind the Scenes, Bonus Scene

Where It's Available:

Ann Andriani
My name is Ann Andriani. Since 1999, I've helped millions of folks sort through their questions and curiosities about all things sex. There are tons of adult products out there and my goal is to help you find the gems and skip the losers.

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