While I have some great resources online and some equally awesome books on the subject, I realize that not everyone likes to read and let’s face it, not everyone is a good reader. I’m a fan of the Nina Hartley series of instructional DVDs; however, the younger crowds that visit my sites aren’t interested in watching an older woman tell them about sex. Nina will always be a hottie to me, but I need a younger, hipper resource to direct these younger couples to. So when I got this DVD to review from Tristan Taormino, I was hoping to find my new DVD resource.
The actresses are younger and more hip. Penny Flame speaks their language. She’s not too proper, clinical or too mature. She’ll tell you to not “fucking” do something. So I am confident that a younger crowd will relate to the important information on this DVD.
I love that the DVD starts with a teaching session, explicitly demonstrating the safe and not safe parts of the body to hit and slap, on an actual woman’s body. Some videos incorporate diagrams and illustrations which aren’t as easy to understand as seeing it on an actual body. She explicitly demonstrates 3 types of slapping techniques.
Face slapping is a popular one and she spends some time there discussing the physical and emotional concerns and how to look out for the well being of your partner. She shows you different face slapping techniques and parts of the face that you can safely slap.
Hair Pulling, not as simple as you’d expect and I bet you didn’t know there’s a specific way to do it safely. Penny again explicitly demonstrates on her lady friend, so you don’t cause any neck injuries, pain or pull globs of hair out.
At this point there’s no explicit choking instruction. This pissed me off because one thing I know the younger couples are experimenting with is choking. I get asked about it all the time. Plus, there’s lots of choking in the scenes that follow. I was baffled as to why something so important wasn’t there and discussed. Then after watching the whole movie and exploring the bonus scenes, I found the demonstration of it hidden there. Honestly, I think that was a mistake, it could easily be missed and to try to duplicate what’s in some of the scenes can be really dangerous if you don’t understand what they’re actually doing. So fortunately, explicit choking instructions are provided, they’re just tucked away in the bonus section. So make sure you check that out.
Penny and Derrick’s scene demonstrates how to get it on in a more physical, animalistic style where the man is the dominant. He aggressively pins her up against the wall, chokes her, pulls her by the hair, fucks her face and bangs her in a seriously hard fucking way. At one point, Penny is taking Derrick’s cock so deep into her mouth and down her throat that she can’t breathe and her eyes are watering, her makeup is running down her face and they get to this point where the sweat is just dripping off their bodies.
In the next scene and Aiden and Devin demonstrate the role playing and verbal aspect part of domination and humiliation. Aiden, the woman, is the dominant. We are notified ahead of time that they fully negotiated their scene before playing together which was disappointing. It would have been more helpful to see an actual negotiation. Seeing two people express what they want, what they don’t and find common ground to have a successful experience would be extremely enlightening to many couples and playmates since sex is one of the most difficult topics for a couple to discuss.
Aiden and Devin were both very much into their roles and had a good back and forth going. You experience what can be said during sex, how commanding a lover to do something can be fun and hot. I think that’s the biggest thing to learn from this scene. Aiden says some very silly things, even ridiculous, but in the heat of the moment, it can be hot! Who would have thought that commanding your lover to “Sniff that fucking pussy!” and asking him “Does it smell like sweaty pussy?” could make my kitty tingle. To think back to it, it’s silly, yet in the context of commanding your lover during sex can be hot. Aiden shows you that you shouldn’t be afraid to open up and talk during sex and ask for or command your lover to do exactly what you want. If you use common sense, stay within your partner’s comfort zone, emotionally and physically, follow simple rules of safety, you can let yourself go and be in the moment.
The third and last scene with Lexi and Mark is definitely the most hard-core and most valuable scene for a couple of reasons. Mark is a serious Dom, serious as a heart attack. There’s more of a game type theme when it opens, for them to build trust and establish their roles, but then things get serious pretty quickly. There’s lots of choking during this scene with a little bit of Penny’s voice over instruction. They show vigorous positions that take strength and stamina and I appreciate that they take some time getting into them. Mark doesn’t just through Lexi effortlessly into these positions. He grabs her, steadies himself, instructs her and they make them happen. It’s quite impressive and I appreciate that you can see the effort it takes.
This is the most valuable part of the DVD. From the quick interview segments throughout, we learn that Lexi’s a biter. During this scene she bites Mark on the lips too hard, he reacts pushing her up off of him and slaps her across the face, hard. Due to the intensity of the scene and the natural emotions involved in slapping someone on the face, she was immediately brought to tears. I’m so glad they didn’t edit this out because you get to see how one handles such a situation. AWESOME!!! In my opinion, you can give people tons and tons of information, however, seeing something like this actually happen and how the Dom handles it, is an invaluable resource. It also shows that play doesn’t have to totally end for the night/day/session. You can see what an actual “pause” in sex is. Then when everyone is okay, you can pick up where you left off or start things over again, going down a better path.
You can watch each scene on its own with no instruction, so it’s a really hot porn if you’re into the rough stuff. You can also choose to watch by position: pussy eating, blow job, doggie, missionary & cum shot. Select one and you’ll see all those scenes with just those positions edited together.
There’s a bonus scene with Penny and Derrick which looks like part of their original scene that got edited out. It’s got him giving her oral and then him using the Hitachi Magic Wand on her to an amazing orgasm.
Then there’s the most important, chocking demonstration. Penny explains how to do it safely, why you should do it that way and then explicitly demonstrates it, the whole time stressing that you should be practicing it over and over again before trying it during sex. That I love! I’m just so disappointed that it got tossed to the bonus section.
If you’re into rough sex or even just curious about having it, you should watch this DVD. It gives clear instructions and demonstrations on how to do some pretty dangerous shit that makes sex for some hot. Personally, I’m not into the rough stuff, but I found the information to be valuable. You not only learn the important information, but see how it can be applied in a variety of situations. You’re given a variety of themes for a sexual encounter that should help you and your lover decide and plan how you want to rough up your sex.
The most important part to me, the choking instruction, was unfortunately hidden away, bad choice for whatever reason. And I wish we could have seen an actual sexual negotiation instead of just hearing that it was done. With Penny Flame as the host, this DVD feels younger and hip, geared more towards younger folks and showing a negotiation is important for them. In my experience talking to the younger couples about sex, they don’t know how to negotiate and talk about what they want, but they’re still trying and experimenting with rough sex. So it’s unfortunate that such expert type information was left out. However, I’m thrilled that the “scene gone bad” didn’t get edited out. Porn is always so perfect and real life sex is not and it’s wonderful that as an instructional DVD, something that is so real, that could happen to anyone involved in rough sex, wasn’t cut out.
The point of watching such a DVD is to learn about this type of sex, to see different possibilities and to get excited about roughing up your sex. While I had some issues with Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex, it contains need to know and need to understand information before getting rough with your lover. I don’t think this should be your only tutor and guide on the topic. I’ve always been a fan of having more than one resource so you can compare the information. The more you see, the more you understand, the more enjoyable sex you can have. You don’t have to buy this DVD, but you should rent it. Watching will help and enlighten and ultimately, that’s what an instructional DVD is supposed to do.