Threesome Handbook by Vicki Vantoch
The Hype
From backcover: A step-by-step guide to realizing the new American dream, The Threesome Handbook is the first book to give tri-curious men and women the inside scoop on threesomes. As threesomes have finally slipped into the mainstream – on TV, in magazines, movies and just about every respectable blog, sexuality historian and threesome dabbler, Vicki Vantoch offers practical and humorous advice on our most popular fantasy.
Initial Thoughts
I was excited about this book, apparently Vicki was writing from her own experiences so I was hoping the advice would be real and practical with lots of details, because in my experience in this lifestyle, it’s all about the details and that’s what many DVD’s on the topic seem to be missing.
What I Like About The Threesome Handbook
First and foremost, I LOVED the fact that this book was written by a woman. Most people still seem to think that a lady, lady, man or man, lady man threesome is a man’s fantasy and that’s not true. So thank you Vicki for stepping out and letting the world know that we women desire this fantasy for our own pleasure.
The tone of the book is not to sell you on the idea of having a threesome. It’s a guide to having one, Vicki not only shares her own personal experiences and lessons learned from them; she shares real life stories from others: women, men and couples. I love that she shares the good and the bad because there’s so much hype about how great a threesome can be and I appreciate people that aren’t afraid to get the real information out there. A Threesome can be a great experience for a couple with a healthy relationship and a bit of time for preparation. It can also be a disaster and ruin a relationship that’s not ready or a couple that hasn’t put any time or thought into it.
The Threesome Handbook feels like it was written by someone with actual experience. The advice is practical and realistic, not just general and theoretical and that thrills me. Vicki takes readers from their desire of wanting a threesome, through bringing it up to your partner, through talking about it and setting up boundaries, to exploring your own inner queer to see if same sex play is something you really want to do, but that’s not all. Then she continues with how to find a playmate and not just giving basic theorectical suggestions either. Vicki gives actual thought out ideas and places to go, how to talk to that third person, setting up a play date. Then she gets to the technical sex part with a third person providing various illustrations of positions and covers communicating afterward. She even goes further into talking about forming a three way relationship if you and your partner so desire.
The book is also interactive providing quizzes for you and your partner to answer together to see if you’re relationship is ready for this kind of play. How you high you score is how ready you are.
Favorite Chapters
Chapter 3 discusses the VERY important question of how to find a playmate. It’s a question I get asked often over at AllSexAdvice.com and while the possiblilites are endless, Vicki breaks it down into easily digestable pieces for you and your partner to explore. Stressing that it’s all about a couple’s comfort level, Vicki shows how you can explore your circle of friends, meeting new people, different venues and outlets to find them, and how to go about seducing them or getting them interested in you. But her suggestions don’t stop there, she provides more info on how to sharpen your people reading skills with clues that indicate if a person’s interested in threesomes, plus what signs reveal a person you should avoid. It’s specific information about threesomes that I’ve not seen anywhere else in the threesome context given by a person that’s really “been there and done that”. This chapter is a must for newbies. I’ve got plenty of “Threesies” experience under my belt and I still found this chapter to be enlightening!
Chapter 4 is also awesome! Vicki busts outdated myths and misconceptions about playing with a third person. She talks about the various feelings/emotions that may come up: concern, jealousy, security issues and how one can handle them. She explains how any feelings, positive or negative, one partner has are not wrong, but how they should be explored and dealt with. These feelings help couples understand how important open, honest communication is to the success of this type of play. Then she reveals how your feelings of jealousy can actually make you hot, which was a new spin on the little green monster for me that I quite enjoyed!
Favorite Bits
I love how Vicki constantly stresses that MFM, FFM Threesomes are a woman’s game that the lady(ies) is the ones in charge. If the lady is not connecting with new female or male playmate, the threesome can’t possibly be successful.
Another important issue she uncovers is how a couple MUST present a unified front to the important “unicorn” and explains the building comfort process that will lead into successful sexual escalation.
Cool Bits
Chapter 7 provides you with illustrations, explanations and difficulty ratings of 26 threesome positions (a mix of 2 ladies, 1man and 2 men, 1 lady). We tried these and most of them for ffm threesomes worked out pretty well. There are a few that just weren’t going to work from the get go, especially if the guy isn’t comfortable with his balls scraping across one of the ladyies’ noses.
Overall Thoughts of The Threesome Handbook
This is the tome of all threesome books, I love it! Some may think it would be more arousing to buy or rent a threesome DVD, but so far, I have not found a DVD resource that covers threesomes with such depth. If this is something that you and your partner have been fantasizing about, this is the book you need to make it happen or to finally put the idea of turning this fantasy into reality to rest. The stories are real and the information is practical.
If this is a fantasy, start with this book and read it TOGETHER. My husband and I have been playing with others for years and we still read this book together. We read it outloud to each other at night in bed, on long drives, whenever we had some quiet time. It opens up a forum to help couples discuss the issues and ideas that Vicki brings up. A Threesome can only be successful if the couple goes into it as a team and the team work is not just during the sex part, but in the preparation. After you have all the down and dirty info from The Threesome Handbook, then rent the naughty DVDs and get yourselves all worked up. It’s great a book to learn from, to open the lines of communication and to plan a strategy to find that special playmate and have many successful threesomes. Way to go Vicki!
Vital Stats:
Author: Vicki Vantoch
Publisher: Thunder’s Mouth Press
Erotic or Self-Help: Self- Help
Format: Soft Cover
# of Pages: 372
Easy or Difficult Read: Easy
