This Ain’t Star Trek XXX

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90out of 100Excellent

I’m not a Trekkie.

I’m more of a Star Wars gal. However, I did see the most recent Star Trek release and really enjoyed it, so when I saw that Hustler came out with this new parody, I was excited to watch. I’d say it’s more a parody of the original Star Trek series with William Shatner. In fact, Evan Stone does a great job adding a Shatner-like delivery to his lines which tickled me quite a bit.

This Ain’t Star Trek XXX stays true to the original series.

It’s got a all the main characters: Captain Kirk, Spock, Uhura, Scotty, the evil Kahn, Dr. McCoy. The set looks good, costuming is authentic, not overly sexy or ridiculous like pornos can be, campy but not cheesy. It has the dramatic music and sound effects very similar to the TV show, the scenes end with a slow fade as if you were going to go commercial. Well done production staff! They even the beam the characters on and off the ship. The crystallization is very cool and adds to the fun of it. It’s campy flick, but then again so was the original TV series to an extent, especially if you watch it now.

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Storyline is campy, dramatic and intense, like a real episode.

There’s a full storyline here; not just some spacey dialogue to bring each of the characters into sex that causes many of the characters that wouldn’t normally get it on to really do the deed, and it doesn’t feel like a stretch in the story. The sex comes on in a natural way, campy, but natural for a porn script. Even the scene where Evan has sex with Kahn’s woman played by Sasha Grey, she’s got some Vulcan fever that causes her to become way more sexual than a Vulcan normally becomes. Not having seen much of the original show, I know that Captain Kirk was a lady’s man, so I’m sure even the Shatner’s version of Captain Kirk would fuck a Vulcan if he had a chance. So still not an outrageous lead in to the sex scene. For a porn parody, there were also peaks and valleys in the tone of the flick. At times, things would get a bit dramatic and even dangerous. Then at other times, there was that campy humor I expected and enjoyed.

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Two and half scenes got me really hot.

Yep, the first scene with Jenna Haze and Tony DeSergio started out a bit slow for me and Jenna included these bj techniques that I really didn’t find arousing or exciting. However, once the intercourse got started, it was hot. Jenna has this ability when on top to move her hips and it looks like her pussy is sucking the cock. It’s VERY hot to watch.

Aurora Snow and Nick Manning’s scene as Marla and Kahn having sex also testing my patience, while it started out quite romantic for a porn parody the sex got going with a very messy, gagging, more like ‘face fucking’ BJ and that doesn’t do it for me. The actresses rarely look like they’re genuinely enjoying themselves and that was true here. What gets me hot is seeing people having fun, if they can fake it well, all the better, but with these face fucking BJs, I haven’t seen the fun vibe around them yet. Again, if that’s your bag, then you’ll be happier than a pig in shit.

I got a kick out of Sasha Grey and Evan Stone’s scene because they were having sex right on the “Beam Me Up Scotty” contraption. No need to move to more comfy diggs, just get on right there. While I’m a fan of Evan Stone, the man is great in and out of sex scenes, this was my first exposure to Sasha Grey and unfortunately, I wasn’t too impressed. I don’t know if was because she was playing a Vulcan that’s not an emotional creature or if this is how she is, but I really felt that Evan carried that scene. It almost seemed like at times she didn’t know what position to get in next. Speaking of, they did some fine standing up positions too, while she was in some rather strange and I’m sure uncomfortable heels. So I’m not going to make my mind up on Sasha Grey just yet, I’d like to see her in something else.

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Codi Carmicheal got me all worked up!

Scene 4 really got me worked up and it was with newcomer to the industry Codi Carmichael, playing the nurse. Afflicted with a deadly virus, she finds out she can only overcome it by having an orgasm. This is where the gold came in for me. It was a damn hot masturbation scene…Codi sitting in the chair at her desk with her crotchless nylons on doing herself with a vibe in a panic and getting off on it. Then after a quick edit to more story, we get back to her Doc and McCoy gets the virus as well, so now they have to have sex. There was no gagging, face fucking blow job. No huge amounts of spit lines and spit sucking to deal with. Codi went down on Cheyne Collins and fucked him and looked like she was having a damn genuine good time doing it. This scene, from her masturbating to their fucking made my pussy pulse, I was so worked up. Good scene!

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The final sex scene with Tony, Evan and Jade Fire, as Uhura, was quite intense. Those boys banged the bejesus out of that woman! I don’t think there was a moment tht all her holes weren’t filled. This scene did have the funniest moment for me and I know it won’t translate well in this form, but I have to give kudos to whoever deserves it. Beginning of the sex scene, both Tony and Evan are standing on each side of her and she’s sucking each one a little bit then going to next. At one point, Evan grabs her head and like shoves his cock to the back of her throat and holds her there for a moment and when he releases, she sits back gasping for air and says, “God Dammit Captain!” as she then sucks on Tony’s cock. It’s totally the delivery and timing that makes it funny, but it caught me off guard and I was actually thinking along the same lines, a very funny moment for me. I’m not usually into MFM threesome scenes, but this one kept me quite hot after Nurse and McCoy’s hot scene.

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If you’re a Trekkie fan and porn watcher, you MUST experience this movie.

It truly is a well done flick, they stay true to the original TV show, the storyline, while simple, moves along smoothly. The scenes progress into sex quite naturally. The costuming is quite authentic and not overly sexy or slutty. The set is well done and feels very much like the TV show along with the special effects of the technical capabilities that were available at that time. While I wasn’t totally into all the sex scenes and there were some parts that tried my patience, I enjoyed This Ain’t Star Trek XXX. The story engaged me, the actors were convincing enough in their roles to keep me engaged out of the sex scenes, the movie did overall excite me, so we have a succesful movie, one I’m sure I’ll be putting in the DVD player again.

  • Starring: Evan Stone, Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze, Tony DeSergio, Nick Manning, Aurora Snow, Cheyne Collins, Codi Carmichael, Jada Fire
  • Studio: Hustler
  • Director: Axel Braun
  • Running Time: approx. 120 minutes
  • Extras: Movie with no sex scenes (also fun to watch), Making Of featurette, 3 Bonus scenes with Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey & Aurora Snow, Behind-the-Scenes, Blooper Reel, Director’s Storyboard, Photo Gallery

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Ann Andriani
My name is Ann Andriani. Since 1999, I've helped millions of folks sort through their questions and curiosities about all things sex. There are tons of adult products out there and my goal is to help you find the gems and skip the losers.

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