Normally, the back cover contains some information on what’s inside and in reading a self-help, informative type book such as this, I like to see what it says it will deliver. This book did not have that, instead there were some very impressive quotes from the Playboy Advisor, Rolling Stones Magazine and listed the different awards it won for excellence. So, I did a little digging to see what the author, Paul Joannides, wanted to give to his readers. This is what I was able to gather from the Introduction chapter, Chapter 1…
“…To explore dimensions of sexuality that people in our country aren’t usually told about – from the emotional part of getting naked together to why a guy who takes his penis too seriously might have trouble pleasing his sweetheart. It covers subjects like handjobs and heart throbs, kisses above and below the waist, vibrators, friendship and even sex on the internet.”
It also mentions later on in the chapter…
“Most people would probably agree that sex is best when it’s honest, caring and fun. The same should be true for books on sex. Hopefully, you will never find a more honest assessment of love and sex than in the pages that follow, or a publication that has more respect for its readers than this one does for you.”
Even though I love to read about sex, this book frightened me when I first received it! It’s 782 pages and weighs what seems like several pounds. As a sex educator with my own advice message board, I know the sometimes fast, immediate and easy answers that many folks are looking for, so I had a difficult time figuring out who would purchase this book for personal life purposes and/or questions…A student for a paper, sex educators like myself, a journalist even, but the average Joe? I wasn’t sure and at 782 pages in length, I figured this was going to be the most laborious, boring read of my life…thank goodness I was wrong…wrong with a capital W-R-O-N-G!
You’ll have an extremely well-rounded, real world, practical knowledge on sex. If you haven’t already encountered some of the situations, troublesome spots or have had certain curiosities yet, you’ll be ahead of the game and will realize that these things happen at some point and exist in just about everyone’s mind and life. Whenever you have a question about sex, this book will help you to understand things better and if it can’t completely, Paul gives you his recommendations on where to go to find the details that you need. It helps men to understand where women are coming from during sex and women to understand men during sex.
As a Whole Paul’s writing style has got to be the main reason this book is such a success. Tackling a subject as serious as sex in relationships and tackling it as whole, not just an aspect of sex like just oral or just intercourse, but the whole kitten kaboodle, is not easy to do without sounding too preachy or like you’re writing instructions for hooking up your stereo. However, Paul does it beautifully. He has a wonderful sense of humor that I don’t think could be upsetting or offensive to anyone. He’s also very laid back and relaxed even when talking about some real awkward topics. Paul presents the information in a very objective manner, unlike other books that I’ve read on sex in which one could actually feel a change in tone when reading about more, so called, “taboo” topics. As a result, one can’t help but to keep reading and reading and reading. Every time I picked up this book, I couldn’t put it down. Not only was the information extremely useful, but it was so much fun to read!
This book is not written just from the author’s point of view, Paul has used questions and comments from over 4,000 people, folks like you and me who have real questions about sex. To prove this point to myself, I compared the discussions on AllSexAdvice.com with topics and questions in the book. I was very happy to see that many of the same topics were covered in the book as well, and covered in great detail.
I don’t think that many people would read this book from cover to cover, so I’m happy to report that the information is well organized and easy to find. This book is wonderful as a reference type book. Topics are mentioned in multiple sections in the book. If a piece of information is just touched on, Paul will let you know exactly where in the book to find the entire discussion.
I loved the fact that answers to certain questions are presented more like suggestions. Paul is at no time afraid to admit that something is not easily learned, understood or carried through, especially when you’re dealing with another person. He’s not afraid to discuss the complexity and he does follow it up with tips, facts and ideas to get one moving in the right direction. He doesn’t blow smoke up your ass about the reality of the situation or possible solutions. As a sex educator, I really admire that and I think that readers will feel the same way.
These are some quotes, although there are many more, which I just couldn’t agree with more and had to share with you here.
On what successful intercourse is…
“Intercourse seems successful when it leaves you feeling a little more solid, less grumpy and more able to face the day and less afraid of the world when it’s an overwhelming place. Intercourse is successful when it allows you to both give and get something from your partner that makes you feel more whole or wholesome and secure.”
On erectile difficulties…
”…The real danger is not with the lack of erection, but with what each of you (the couple) makes of it. Short-term problems can become long-term problems if the man sees himself as a failure or the woman needs his erection to validate that she’s desirable.”
On sex fizzing out after a few years of marriage…
”Just because sex was hot during the first year doesn’t mean it will be hot during the tenth. If you want to keep your intimacy alive, you need to talk, share things and do things together that you enjoy. If you want your sex life to stay healthy, do things that make you like and admire each other when you have your clothes on. And don’t expect a pill to make up for what you haven’t been doing.”
This is a big book. It’s also not an easy book to hide because of it’s thickness. I know that many people want to obtain their sexual knowledge and answers to their questions on the down-low and with total discreetness. And it’s not a downfall that’s harmful to book because of the usefulness of the information provided and questions answered. My only concern that because of it’s thickness, people will avoid this treasure chest of information. Although, I don’t think this book is something that one should be ashamed to own or have on their bookshelf. In my opinion, seeing this book on someone’s shelf would tell me that they’re a solid, caring and compassionate person that will actually take the necessary steps to have a fun, playful and enjoyable sex life with the person they’re in a relationship with. And to those that do have their doubts about obtaining this book because of its size, should tell folks who do spot this book that very thing. You’re realistic about sex, what’s wrong with that?
I absolutely believe it does! The topics that Paul talks about are the real issues. In school we’re taught the mechanics of sex and sex for reproductive purposes, but we’re not taught about the emotional rollercoaster that men and women go through when it comes to having enjoyable sex with the one we love. This book takes that deeper step and does it in an entertaining, objective and compassionate manner. I believe that Paul is honestly covering this very sensitive topic of sex because he was not afraid to include quotes and emails from people who have disagreed with his thoughts, ideas and information. Of course he gets the last word in his book, but he at least tries to understand where that person’s point of view was coming from. As far as respecting his readers, well, the book is filled with thoughts, stories, answers, questions, comments and ideas from readers. I don’t see how one could show any more respect than including their words on the very pages of his book. There’s a ton of reader inclusion in this book and he’s not afraid to ask for more input from future readers.
The Guide to Getting It On is is a book that everyone should have on their bookshelf. It is without a doubt one of the most complete, unbiased guides on sex. The information within is not only enjoyable to read from cover to cover, but is extremely practical, useful and easy to undertand. I can’t see most people reading this book from cover to cover, if you do, more power to you…you rock!!! But I don’t think it’s meant to read that way anyway. My feeling is that this book is meant to be a reference guide to all things involving sex and love. I can’t see most of the tips and suggestions in this book becoming outdated. Iit’s very helpful and informative for men and women of ALL ages, so you’ll have a great reference book on sex and love for the rest of your life…and at the very affordable price of $19.95. Holy Smokes!!! When I saw that price my jaw dropped, literally. There’s just NO EXCUSE for not owning this book.